A Long-Expected Party (Part One)

Pasha in repose

My dear friends and comrades. It is truly a glorious time to be a cat – especially a cat such as I, Pasha, feline luminary for our times!

You will recall my last missive, in which I confirmed that the party to celebrate my wondrousness had at last been sanctioned by the humans. I promised you an update, and I am a feline who keeps her promises. Owing to other extremely important demands on my time, however, I must bring you this report in two segments. In today’s communiqué you will hear about the planning of this most illustrious of events; for an account of the night itself I must crave your patience and ask that you wait a while longer.

But on with today’s instalment!

My Meeseketeers and I agreed that a ball was the most appropriate form of tribute. Being blessed with exquisite dancing skills myself (my hind leg quickstep is a joy to behold), I could think of no better way to spend the evening than gambolling around the floor, with my acolytes following my every step and delighting in my prowess.

The first task was thus to locate a suitable venue. I have a number of chambers within my palace that could accommodate such a function, but for me the obvious choice was the primary throne room. Situated at the forefront of my territory, it is the ideal spot for attracting the gaze of passing felines and displaying my brilliance for the delectation of all.

Another key aspect of this particular chamber is its decor. In addition to three awe-inspiring thrones, in prime position on the floor is one of the most stunning red carpets a cat could imagine. Not only does it feature a dense weave that lends itself perfectly to the sharpening of my carefully manicured claws, it is solid enough to sustain my energetic bursts of movement as I dart around the room. And what better way to honour this feline celebrity than by allowing her the chance to parade down her very own red carpet?

Having therefore chosen our location, we next turned our attention to the guest list. This was the subject of much debate, my Meeseketeers wishing to celebrate my splendour with a large gathering. I, however, decided that a small, select reception would be more appropriate, at least in this inaugural year. I would invite a few hand-picked guests, the better to convey to the outside world just how exclusive my company is, and what an honour it is for any creature to be welcomed into it.

I thus concluded that, in addition to the Meeseketeers themselves, I would extend the invitation to a small number of followers from the outer fringes of the Meeseketeers’ society: specifically, those individuals I had come to know as the Catnip Meeses. (You will not be familiar with these Meeses; they are a recent addition to our household, having accompanied the Catparents back from their travels in foreign lands. However, I have become accustomed to their presence, and as such deemed them worthy of inclusion in our celebrations.)

With venue and guest list thus settled, we finally came to the most enjoyable part of the preparations: the food and entertainment. As the soiree was to be an intimate affair, no great outlay would be required on the noms. Each attendee would be expected to bring a gastronomic treat as an offering, thereby solving our buffet issues with minimal effort on our part. I could barely contain my excitement at the thought of what delicious titbits would be proffered!

But it was my ideas for the entertainment of which I am particularly proud. You already know your Pasha to be a cat of supremely good taste, and I can assure you that I took my responsibilities in this regard extremely seriously. Long and hard I pondered, dreaming up schemes that would show off my personage and my territory to their best advantage; visitors to my palace would not fail to be in awe of my magnificence!

Alas, time is pressing, and I must depart shortly to address my other concerns. I will, for now, simply say that in putting together the programme of events for the night, I impressed even myself. Not only was I inspired to allocate key roles to my Meeseketeers, the better to place me centre stage in the whole affair, but I also – you will be astounded to hear – succeeded in recruiting the humans to play a part.

Yes! Not only have they deferred to my wishes in allowing this event to go ahead, they have now taken a step even closer to a rapprochement by agreeing to involve themselves in the schedule for the night. Although a small part of my highly sensitive brain recognises that this may be merely a new tactical offensive on their part, I think I will choose to expect the best from them. Perhaps if they sense my magnanimity, they will be shamed into treating me with the respect that I so richly deserve.

And so, on that note, I must leave you. You can be assured that when I return, I will not stint in relating to you all the details of this most excellent night; and you will rejoice to see your great and glorious leader honoured as is her due!