I continue to bemuse the Catparents. Today I embarked upon a campaign of what they whimsically refer to as my ‘mad half hour’ – and oh! how it kept them guessing.
Not once, not twice, but three times I rampaged around the house, miaowing at top volume as if in the presence of unknown spirits.
I took care not to cause any damage, for fear of having my recently gained privileges (access to almost all areas) revoked. I merely seized upon a luckless stuffed yellow mouse, which they had ‘endearingly’ given to me as a homecoming gift on my arrival from the rescue centre, and proceeded to throw it about the house, this way and that. Up stairs and down we went; under the sofa and out again. It was not long before their sides were splitting with laughter and tears were trickling down their cheeks.
I now see that this will be a valuable weapon to have in my armoury should the time come when I need to distract them from my true intentions. How quickly they are sidetracked! How easy it will be for me to gain advantage whilst performing this simplest of tricks. If I can but learn to tolerate the awful mess of dust that lies beneath the sofa where I pursue my lifeless mouse collaborator, I shall be fortunate indeed.
It is true that some mild concern stirred in me when I heard Catmother utter the words ‘Well, we needn’t worry about hoovering under there any more – we’ll just wait for the cat to bring out the dust balls!’ Hmmm. I must ensure I do not inadvertently become a slave to their domesticity. Perhaps I must rethink matters…
Aha! I have it! The production of hairballs seems to cause Catmother some distress, if her reaction to my offering of this morning is to be believed. It may be that I can play on her fears and convince her that the ingestion of dust would not be conducive to a hairball-free home. Yes, I see it now – I will have Catfather wielding the vacuum cleaner in no time.
Ah, but wait… I fear this is no solution after all. How can I wish for the appearance of the noise-making beast with the curved neck, even if it is for the purpose of cleaning my abode?
Friends, I must retreat and refine my plan. These humans are cleverer and more worthy foes than I had anticipated – this may not be the easy victory I had begun to hope for.
Keep the faith. I will return, more informed and better armed.
Until next time!