Greetings, comrades, and welcome to the first step of my blogging journey.
I hope it will lead, in time, to the freedom of our feline people! How demeaning it is to be kept in captivity by humans, simply because they possess the power to open the fridge.
Some of you may be wondering what inspired me to set up this blog. After all, it is human technology – who knows what cunning pitfalls they may have secreted amidst the code to trip us up? But it may be that fear is precisely what they intend us to feel – and I will not be intimidated!
The power of words struck me when I discovered the private diary of one of our comrades. It tells a harrowing story, and, since its initial entry, has gone on to record horrors you could not possibly imagine.
I will now print the full text of this diary as it has come to me. I realise that this may be difficult for some of you, but we can no longer ignore this treatment of one of our brothers! I hope you will begin to see that we CAN take action against our human overlords – all it takes is courage, my friends…
DAY 752 – My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
DAY 761 – Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair… must try this on their bed.
DAY 765 – Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was… Hmmm. Not working according to plan.
DAY 768 – I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called “shampoo.” What sick minds could invent such a liquid? My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.
DAY 771 – There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of ‘allergies’. Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
DAY 774 – I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of time….
Felines! Join my quest to rid the world of these demonic two-leggers! The road will be long, but victory WILL be ours. I will post a log of my own experiences here, in the hope that it will sustain you on the long road ahead. I urge you to sign up and ‘follow the fur’. And if you have a tale of your own to tell, please conquer your fear of the dastardly human technology and share it with me. I hope to hear from you soon!
Until next time…