The Sonnet of Pasha Puss

Shall I compare thee to a bowl of noms?
Thou art more tasty and more full of crunch:
Living with thee doth have its pros and cons,
Not least, the shocking scarcity of lunch:
The flapping of thy hands afore mine eyes,
The tickling of my sumptuous fluffy tum;
The daily torments that thou both devise,
Necessitate the gnawing of thy thumb:
Yet, also, thou dost scratch behind mine ears;
Surrender bed and couch to my sweet form;
When Mr B*stard preys upon my fears,
Thou calmest me; oh! how thou keep’st me warm:
……And so, my humans, let us compromise;
……Respect me, and thou will indeed be wise.