Comrades! I have news of a somewhat unsettling development, and I know not what to make of it.
It appears that Catmother is more aware than I had realised of my ‘blogging’ activity, to the extent that she has recently appeared on a human radio show to talk about it.
I know. I am as shocked as you must be. I had thought I was keeping myself under the radar, only venturing on to the ‘computer’ when she was at a safe distance from it. I had convinced myself that she could not possibly suspect me – sweet, innocent Pasha! – of such a devious endeavour.
But it now transpires that I was wrong.
How I gave myself away, I cannot imagine. My ‘password’ is one she could not possibly guess, as it is phrased in the native tongue of our kind – and despite her proficiency in languages, this is one she has not yet been able to master. The feeble human intellect is no match for that of a cultured feline!
Likewise, I am certain I have successfully misled her with regard to my ability to ‘type’. When she herself is attempting to ‘work’ on the communications device, I weave back and forth in front of her, as if I have no idea of the havoc that can be wreaked by a delicately misplaced paw. It is impossible that she could recognise my subterfuge.
No, I am sure I cannot have given myself away so clumsily. It can only be that she has discovered my campaign updates while browsing what the humans refer to as the ‘internet’ (which is a terminology that makes no sense: a ‘net’ is something that a Fluttering or Skittering Creature would become trapped in, and I have certainly not found any such morsels while on my technological journey).
But that is by the by. She has detected us. And now she is telling the world about us!
What evils may come of this? The humans, aware of our plot, will now be forewarned and therefore forearmed. Our advantage has been destroyed in one fell swipe, and we must now exert ourselves even more diligently in order to contrive a new strategy to defeat them.
These are sombre days indeed. And yet, in the darkness, there is a glimmer of hope.
It should come as no surprise to you that I, Pasha, feline philosopher for our times, although unnerved by this turn of events, am attempting to identify some good that may be salvaged from this unfortunate situation. We must not allow the humans to believe that knowledge of our affairs gives them dominance over us – we must redouble our strengths and come back fighting!
And the more I consider it, the more I am inclined to believe that, through this ‘interview’ she has conducted with the human I will refer to simply as Radio Man, others of our kind will hear my call and flock to our cause.
Yes! By distributing my message more widely, she has, undoubtedly, unwittingly alerted our comrades across the globe to my existence. Those of our kin who may be dwelling in less advantageous circumstances, who may be bereft of faith, who may feel all is lost… they will now know that there is a glorious leader who has taken up their cause and will enable them to grow from strength to strength!
I, Pasha, felinethropist extraordinaire, am that chieftain, that commander, that saviour of cats around the world! And I will continue to spread my word until it is known and taken up by my followers everywhere. I will listen to their concerns, restore their spirits, incite them to action, and guide them to their eventual triumph!
Ah, how could I have not seen this before? This exposé, far from giving an edge to our opposition, is instead a great gift to us – to cat-kind! This is how I will recruit new disciples to my cause. This is how I will build my army. And this is how we will overcome all obstacles – including the lack of opposable thumbs – and march to our ultimate victory!
Comrades! The die has been cast. Are you with me?